*Note this blog post is really for people on chemo
I started off on three rounds of FEC and its pretty simple to sum it all up in a word. Revolting. By the last round I honestly thought it was better to die. Well almost. For at least 8 days I was the walking dead. In truth the physical symptoms were bearable (sore mouth, rough throat, hair loss, mild headache, nausea for a few days but manageable).
For me it was the emotional shut down. I felt as if my entire world had collapsed into a 30cm radius that. I didn't want to talk, walk, eat, speak, look, move. I didn't want to be asleep, be awake, be consoled, be entertained. I didn't want to read, watch movies. I basically just wanted to sit and stare at the wall for hours and hours.
My mind was void, empty and meaningless. But because my entire body was poisoned the world felt ugly too.
But the truth is that after about 8 days the fog would lift. Chemo brain? I had a vague amount but not really noticeable.
I was incredibly nervous to start Taxol after those last 9 weeks. I researched and read every possible nuance of what could happen. On the day I braced for an allergic reaction. I was so nervous in fact that I was violently nauseas. Nothing happened. Nor the next day, nor any days after that. I did not sleep all day due to the antihistamine shot. I was fine and perky and stayed up till 9pm.
The only reaction was to the steroids administered. I was a maniac on hyperspeed for a week. I talked fast, raced around, did a million things, picked fights, cried, laughed and then collapsed in a heap at around 7pm. The first week that lasted almost until Saturday (Day 6). The second week the dose reduced and I ran out of the fuel by Thursday. Week 3 it was quartered and I didn't really notice hyperspeed much.
Other than that (and diarhoea, more hair loss and eyebrows and eyelashes now gone) Taxol has been a breeze. No contest.
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